During the 2015 Golden Globes opening ceremony, the duo glided onto the stage in full length form fitting gowns wearing their smirks as their only accessories. Fey and Poehler performed their signature banter like an SNL skit with the cued laughs and applause included. For a quick breakdown of my personal favorite minutes I’m going to give you a play by play of each joke! Be prepared they are back to back to back! If you want I have the video blow so you can cut to the best ones for the full effect and the audience’s reaction.

6:31 Tina – Matthew McConaughey did amazing work this year. For his role in Dallas Buyers club he lost 45 pounds – or what actresses call, “being in a movie.”

6:55 Amy – The wolf of wall street is a big nominee tonight and yes, I really loved the film. But some of it was too graphic, I mean if I wanted to see Jonah Hill masturbate at a pool party – I’d go to one of Jonah Hill’s pool parties.

7:17 Tina – Jonah Hill actually used a prothetic penis in the Wolf of Wall Street so you have so have something to look forward to next time you eat at Planet Hollywood.

7:27 Amy – A number of movies this year used prothetic genitals this year. Blue is the Warmest Color, Wolf of Wall Street, Saving Mr. Banks. Yes, a lot of people don’t know Tom Hanks was wearing one the entire time. He’s actually wearing one right now. *cut to Tom Hanks blushing*

9:20 Amy – Masters of Sex, which was the degree I got from Boston College

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The two women snuck in some Feminist jabs – which never disappoint. Overall, the Golden Globes couldn’t have asked for a better pair to open the awards show and keep the room filled with some awkward laughter.

What a time to be alive

 

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